Bioparanoria

Today a look back more than twenty-five years ago to the 90s, when the prospect of an amphibian being kicked out of a theme park set the ancient internet by storm. Note that this text is adapted from an earlier writing of mine, published elsewhere on the internet a few years prior. When Disneyworld opened in Florida in October 1971, it was full of classic attractions that took guests on wonderous adventures. One could ride the iconic Jungle Cruise down the rivers of Africa, soar to Neverland on Peter Pan’s Flight, or get spooked exploring the depths of The Haunted Mansion. Alongside these rides, on the edge of Fantasyland, was a quaint but beloved attraction. Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, based on the 1949 Disney animated film The Wind in The Willows, took riders on a madcap journey as they help J. Thaddaeus Toad steal a motorcar and go on a crazed joyride before crashing into a train, dying, and ending up with Toad in a cartoon version of Hell. It was strange, but the ride’s oddness a...

Despite all the ingenious entertainment and heartwarming memories, there has been a great deal of tragedy at the Disney theme parks. One doesn’t have to do much online investigating to discover decades of deaths that have occurred on Disney property. While a fair number of these are merely the result of natural causes such as heart attacks, there have been a number of deaths or severe injuries caused by the rides themselves. Considering that the people who do get harmed in this way are but an extremely small percentage of the total number of people who visit Disney, the parks are actually remarkably safe. You’re doubtlessly at greater risk on a highway rather than a roller coaster. Nevertheless, there have been cases, few and far between, in which a person has been murdered on Disney property. Such is the forgotten fate of Melanchthon “Mel” Christian Yorba (September 6, 1962-March 7, 1981). Yorba was attending a private party at Disneyland in Anaheim, California, a celebration thrown...